In The Snow
by gingerline
Summary: The story of a queen and her attendant, in search of splinters of glass. / elsanna, told in thirty kisses.


**our distance**

The child's curse is growing stronger.

The King denies it... but he can deny it only for so long. The girl is pale as snow, hair like frost - so nothing like her father and mother - and the touch of winter has left more than just its mark. It's left something else, festering within the little girl, so young and fragile and all things that make Kai's heart ache.

Princess Elsa of Arendelle is nine years of age, now. And with every year, it's getting stronger.

At first it was only frost - lining the floor beneath her footsteps, sparkling in snowflakes in her laughter. Easy enough for the King to turn a blind eye to; to pretend didn't exist. But when the frost turned to snow, falling across her room, then, eventually... to storms…

The King's firmness, for once, solved nothing.

With every harsh measure, the storms around her only grew.

And that is when Kai makes the journey to the Valley of the Living Rock.

It's arduous and long, and just like Kai remembers. His sturdy steed heaves as she strides valiantly through the cold and up the mountain, on a familiar trail, the middle-aged man the only traveler for miles - the lantern in his grasp the only speck of light in the distance.

* * *

Kai does not know what to expect of them, when he nears the home of the trolls - the crystal at his throat burning warmer and warmer until finally it blazes, just outside a barren, snow-covered clearing.

It is far more than it seems, Kai knows. And as he nears, holding the lantern until its glow casts softly across the snow... he feels it; that humming in his bones, deep and aching, familiar and filling him with longing.

He waits only a moment.

The humming intensifies like the rumble of the rocks, low and powerful, as they roll like an earthquake shaking the mountainside.

They knew he was coming.

"You are not welcome here."

The rock rolls, his deep voice like the grind of stone against metal, before staring up at Kai. It's been nine years, but Kai is still surprised that he doesn't recognize the troll before him - squarish and bulky, moss dark against the shoulders of his pale form. Kai might not recognize him, but he recognizes the emotion stirring behind the large, coal eyes - and it's enough to have Trofa whinny nervously beneath him. There's a glint of wariness, there.

A glint of anger.

The sting in his chest hits surprisingly fresh, and it takes all his strength to steel himself as the others gather - revealing themselves. The recognition sparks in Kai's heart and it breaks, just a little, to have them stand there. In the moonlight, their skin glimmers.

 _Jorr... Tega..._ But the ancient creatures that were once his friends - his family - give him nothing but hard stares, empty of warmth. _Bulda…_

The friendly troll is, for the first time, no more enthusiastic than the rest, as she becomes visible. For once, the trolls of the Valley of the Living Rock are as cold as the stone they were cut from. As cold as the legends had told.

Even Pabbie - the most familiar of all - only sits in the center of it all, silent as stone.

"What are you doing here, Kai of Arendelle?"

The words - the same ones of nine years ago - hit him like they did so long ago; like stones at his soul. He wants to slip off Trofa, fall to his knees... beg them that it was not his fault - that he had no power to resist... But he knows the lies well, in his mind. They had the power, and the warnings, and the will; there was always a choice. And Kai made his.

 _And regrets it with everything._

He feels the guilt seep through the cracks, acrid and heavy, and then remembers the way Gerda's eyes shimmered as she saw him off - the kiss she pressed against his cheek. Reminding him of the sins he committed against her... and her forgiveness of them. Her trust in him to do what he must.

Kai steels himself, folding his wife away in his memory, repeating to himself why he's here. Why he must be.

At that moment, Kai isn't family, returning to share stories beneath the moon. He is the ambassador of Arendelle, attendant of the King, representing the crown and kingdom.

"Something has happened," he says, forcing himself to look at the space above Pabbie; just avoiding his eyes. It helps his voice stay steady. "You have asked for me not to return, but we... We haven't much choice. On behalf of the crown, I ask for your wisdom and your guidance."

They are the words his father made him recite, day after day as a child, before he'd met any of the ancient beings - who he was warned were solemn, dangerous creatures, to be wary amongst. And yet... it has never felt true before today.

They say nothing.

The distance between them is an aching one.

At the sudden, complete silence that sweeps across the valley, Kai begins to speak - just as something seems to come over Pabbie, violently. His expression twists, his eyes glazing - the signs of a vision overtaking his senses, Kai remembers, as the elderly troll had confided in Kai long ago. It lasts a moment and all the trolls seem to still around him, murmuring.

When Pabbie's eyes are clear once more, gazing into Kai's, his gravelly voice is breathless.

"The girl?"

"Princess Elsa," Kai confirms, feeling the hum of the trolls power in the air - of Pabbie's power. Troja is trembling beneath him, and he steadies her with a gentle touch to her neck. "She's... There is a curse in her, Pabbie. It is nothing like I've seen. She cannot control it, either. It's-"

"Of ice."

Pabbie answers, eyes closing.

"Yes," Kai says, startled. But of course Pabbie would know. How much has he seen? "The King seeks your council."

 _The King is afraid._

Pabbie seems to know this. His face is like stone. "You come here to us for aid, after breaking our treaty, Kai of Arendelle? Again?"

"I - I do," Kai says. He feels shaky inside, confronted with these ancient beings; once beloved to him, that now stared at him so coldly. So warily. But... Kai remembers that he deserves this - unlike the King, he knows that very well. "I know I can never be forgiven for breaking your trust and the vows I swore to you - and that you saved our kingdom even when you had no obligation to. I... I know you will never trust me again, nor the King. But I am not asking for him."

"You ask for the girl."

Pabbie looks at him, then, his words faint.

Kai nods. He thinks of the little girl in blue silks, so young, and gentle. So powerful.

 _So afraid._

Pabbie says nothing for a long time; what feels like an eternity. And Kai remembers how he warned the King. How he told the man, desperate and firmly, that the trolls he sought council with for so long have no obligation to the crown. They are not his subjects. The King may order the kingdom to bow before him, but only God could command those of nature and the powers beyond it.

There was a time where Kai believed that Pabbie would never turn away from him, leaving him alone... or a young human girl.

But there was much he did not know, then.

"Thank you for letting me this far. I will go," he says to them - their judging eyes boring into his soul - not letting him feel his heart fall but not being able to stop it. It aches. "I won't return, I promise you."

Troja's breath is like smoke as he turns the dark mare with a light jerk - she needs little encouragement - but there's a shift of snow beneath stone and his head snaps at Pabbie's voice.

"Stop."

It's deep, rumbling - and makes hope lift in his chest.

"Have the king bring me the girl on the eve of spring, this next moon. We will tell you what we can." Kai starts but before he can react, the troll lifts a hand, silencing him. "We will lend aid - but only if the crown will honor their word."

The relief sinks in deeply.

"We will never disregard your laws again," Kai says, desperately. "I swear it."

The troll that died, tall and noble, to stop the winter across the land flashes before his eyes. _Rockwell._

It flashes across his mind's eye just as it does the rest of the trolls, solemn and wary.

 _Grieving._

Pabbie continues, and Kai…

"We request a child, as per the agreement made by our kind and the fathers of your fathers, and the royal line steeped in blood."

Those words are old but still familiar - hauntingly familiar - and hum in his bones.

 _Another?_ is what Kai wants to say. Wants to protest. But he could not say he hadn't _expected_ …

The initiation is only begun once one is dead, or has reached an age they cannot make the journey; and so the child takes their father's place. And yet…

"Pabbie..." Kai says. He feels the finality of it all as he speaks softly. "I'm not old yet, and Gerda and I haven't..."

"Your wife is barren, Kai." Pabbie's eyes are cold, but Kai knows there's sympathy in them, swirling within the depths of hurt and duty. Kai feels his breath catch; surely... "But that has little to do with it. We will aid the crown, as is our duty. But we will treat with you no longer, Kai."

Kai's head bows.

"Bring us a child, no younger than twenty seasons and no older than fifty, to become us in our ways and learn our guild, as you once did, and your father before you," the elder of the trolls commands. "They will treat with us on the crown's behalf."

"Pabbie..." is all Kai can say.

"Go, and do not return." And the troll - wreathed in grass and such a deep sadness, seeping into his voice - turns from Kai. "Let your last good will to your kind be this."

The rest of the tribe parts for him with a rumble of the earth.

"Bring us a child of your blood, Kai, and we will treat with them."

It burns at Kai's heart, in a way he has not allowed it to for many years... but the relief remains, like something in him has been lifted. It is forgiving of the trolls, to even request this - to not turn their backs on the kingdom after Kai and his King have broken their laws. But they must have been betrayed many times, throughout the centuries.

The distance between them is like a gaping chasm, but... it's as Grand Pabbie said, so long ago.

Life must go on.


End file.
